Scars are for siblings
by TroiiB6J9
Summary: Rodney wasn't the perfect kid, but he didn't deserve what he got, did he? A new girl on Atlantis brings Rodney's past back, with a vengance. Rated for self harm, drug use, and child abuse, read at your own risk!
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer:I don't own anything.

This is my first time writing anything for Stargate:Atlantis, so please go easy on me!

Mentions of abuse and self harm, as well as hardcore drug use, if you don't like it, don't read it!

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July 18, 1972

He stared at his pale flesh, and at the shiny new blade his father had given him for his birthday.

He swallowed hard, and looked more closely at his pale, scarred skin, and then at the brand new hunting knife he held in his hand.

He took a deep breath, steeling himself, as he thought, "_It's just another one, it'll take everything away..."_, then he took a deep breath, clenched his fingers even tighter, and plunged the knife as deep as it would go into his disfigured arm, and dragging the knife along the veins.

Blood exploded from his arm, splattering across the carpet, and the towels he'd layed out, splashing across his shirt front.

As the blood gushed in torrents out of his arm, he felt the sweet, savory taste of all of his pain vanishing from his weary, bruised body.

All of the pain quickly evaporated, leaving him alone, and feeling better.

He scooped up one of the towels, pressed it to his arm, breathing deeply, smiling.

He stayed like that for two minutes before pulling the towel away, and checking the make sure he had stopped bleeding.

Blood continued to gush from his arm.

He frowned, "_It shouldn't be doing that, blood doesn't flow like that out of a vein, that only happens if you hit an artery, but the cut wasn't that deep."_

He continued to stare at the torrents of blood, then he began to feel light headed.

He collapsed forward,"_Oh my god, I hit an artery, I'm dying!"_He began to panic, then he realized,"_But I wanted to die, didn't I?"_

He sighed, closing his eyes, waiting for the final, sweet release of death to come,"_But what about Jeannie?!"_

His eyes snapped open, "Jeannie!!"he screamed, grabbing at a towel weakly, attempting to stem the flow from his arm.

He struggled to hang on, then the door slammed open, and he saw a pair of Nike's. Jeannie.

He smiled weakly, and right before he lost consciousness, he heard a scream, _**"Rodney!!!"**_

"Help...me..."spluttered 14 year old Rodney McKay, blood splashing Jeannie's perfect white Nike's with crimson blood.

Then his whole world went black.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer:I don't own anything involved in this story.

I'm really glad people liked my last chapter, I hope this one is as good. I warn you though, this story might get confusing, but I'll explain it all, I promise!

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January 18, 2008, 5:58am

_"They're gonna clean up your looks with all lies in the books..."_

Rodney groaned, rolling over, and unconsciously burrowing deeper under the blankets.

_"To make a citizen out of you. Because they sleep with a gun and keep an eye on you son, so they can watch all the things you do..."_

Moaning, and still asleep, Rodney pulled his pillow over his head, and continued to sleep.

_"Because the drugs never work, they gonna give you a smirk 'cause they got methods of keepin' you clean, they gonna rip up your heads, all your aspirations to shreds..."_

He shifted, pulling the pillow tighter around his head as the song kept getting louder, and louder,he was desperate for sleep.

"_**Another cog in the murder machine!**__"_

Another, louder groan escaped, as Rodney began to slip out of his dreams, and towards consciousness.

"_**THEY SAID ALL, TEENAGERS SCARE THE LIVIN' SHIT OUTTA ME..."**_

Rodney let out a shriek as he was violently thrown out of dreamland, and onto the hard floor of his quarters.

_**"THEY COULD CARE LESS AS LONG AS SOMEONE'LL BLEED!!"**_

"Damn it,"mumbled Rodney, squinting at the Cd alarm clock Jeannie had given him for his birthday.

_**"SO DARKEN YOUR CLOTHES, OR STRIKE A VIOLENT POSE, MAYBE THEY'LL LEAVE YOU ALONE, BUT NOT ME!!!"**_

"For the love of God, **SHUT UP!!**"shouted Rodney angrily, throwing his pillow at the Cd alarm clock. It missed.

"_**The boys and girls in the clique, the awful names that they stick, you're never gonna fit in much kid..."**_

Rodney groaned, rolled onto his back, and resigned to let the damn song play, he was too damn tired and sore to do anything about it.

"_**But if your troubled and hurt, what you got under your shirt, WILL MAKE THEM PAY FOR THE THINGS THAT THEY DID!!!"**_

Rodney sighed, rolling over on the floor,"_Leave it up to Miranda to send me a 'My Chemical Romance', Cd for my birthday, she just loves to remind me of all of my problems..."_

Miranda!!

Rodney jerked his eyes open, pushing himself to his feet hastily,"Damn it, I can't believe I forgot!"Rodney berated himself, pulling on his t-shirt,pants and finally, he picked up his military jacket, and pulled it over his scarred arms.

He sighed as he saw the scars again, staring up at him like white ribbons, constantly reminding him of the cutting, his mothers screams, Jeannie's white Nike's splashed with crimson blood, his father standing at the door, pushing it open, the familiar creak of those hinges, then...

**"**_**NO!!"**_screamed Rodney's mind, blocking out the memories,"_This is a happy day, don't think about it, not here, not now. It's over."_

Rodney took a deep, steadying breath, and left his messy quarters, hurrying to the gate-room.

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January 18, 2008, 6:18am

"Who is this girl?"asked Sheppard, flipping lazily through the file.

"Her name is Miranda Garnell, she's a second degree lieutenant, and she's got a Ph.D. in Astrophysics."replied Samantha Carter, equally lazily, sitting back in her chair.

"So, we got a hundred of those here, why's she so special?"asked John, dropping her file, and sinking into a chair.

"Well, strangely enough, Rodney requested we bring her here, immediately."said Sam, standing and picking up the discarded file.

"Really?"said John, interested,"Why would Rodney want to bring a scientist who could threaten his intelligence to Atlantis?"

Sam rolled her eyes,"I don't know, all I do know is that Dr.McKay is so picky with personnel, that he's seriously understaffed, so any new blood is good, and I'll gladly approve it."

"Right..."said John slowly,"You wouldn't be doing this on the off chance that McKay will get involved with this girl, and you won't have to put up with him telling everyone that you kissed him."

She scoffed, leaving the room,"I'm going to go meet my new arrival."she said,"Oh, and for the record, I never kissed Rodney."

"Sure..."said Sheppard sarcastically, getting up and following her out,"Hey, how much you wanna bet that this girl has something wrong with her face? After all, ugliness is a serious disease."

"John!!"said Sam, stunned and appalled.

"I'm joking, I'm joking!! Jeez, try to make a little joke, and get my head bitten off, can't blame a guy for having a sense of humor."siad John, holding his hands up in mock defense.

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January 18, 2008, 6:24am

Rodney made it to the gate-room as the sirens went off.

_**"Authorized scheduled incoming traveler!!"**_

"_Dang it, I'm going to be late!!"_Rodney thought, panicked, racing around the corner, and sprinting down the stairs, reaching the lower level gate-room just as a young woman stepped through the gate.

He skidded to a stop, and stood still, staring at her, panting heavily.

She looked all around the room first, awe written all over her face, then she returned her gaze to Rodney.

"Rodney?"she asked uncertainly, her dark blue eyes searching his face.

"Miranda..."whispered Rodney in stunned amazement and gratitude, taking a step forward.

Her face broke out into a shy, half-scared grin,"Hi Rodney, I missed you..."she whispered, her eyes glistening with unshed tears.

Rodney swallowed the lump in his throat, and tried hard not to cry,"I missed you too..."said Rodney, swallowing some more.

She smiled a full, happy smile, tears slipping out of her eyes, dripping onto her shoes.

She stepped forward, and directly into Rodney's arms, burying her face in his shoulder.

Rodney wrapped his arms around her in a tight embrace, whispering,"I missed you so much...I'm so sorry..."

"I know..."she whispered,"Believe me,I know..."


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer:I own nothing involved in this story.

Okay, I may have to change the rating from T to M soon, because the story is going to get a bit more graphic, I'm not sure yet, tell me if you think I should or not.

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June 16, 1970, 10:24pm

She lay still, her mind floating above her body, the whole world below her.

"Sissy? Sissy, wake up! **Sissy!**"

She felt a soft tug on her T-shirt, she slowly opened her listless, dead eyes.

She turned her head slowly to look at the two grimy, little faces that stared at her.

"What?"she managed to croak, rolling over onto her side, feeling the rough carpeting digging into her bruised skin.

"We"re hungry..."said the smaller of the two, a small boy with a black ring of bruising around his eye, blood crusted on his shirt.

"I'm sorry, I can't do anything..."she whispered, reaching out to caress the side of his thin face.

"But we're so hungry..."whimpered the larger one, a young girl with purple bruises on her legs, thighs, and upper arms. Tears began to leak out of her eyes.

"Shhh...shhhh..."she said, pushing herself into a sitting position, pulling the two small children into her lap,"You know you can't cry here, you don't wanna wake them up do you!"

She began to rock the two small children in her weary, stiff arms.

They began to cry silently without a sound, tears soaking her filthy T-shirt. They clung tighter to her.

"We're so hungry..."sobbed the little boy, holding his stomach with one hand, the tears tearing tracks through the grime as they slid down his cheeks.

"I know..."she whispered, pulling the two closer, and continuing to rock back and forth.

"Please..."whispered the little girl, clenching tighter onto the older girls' gross T-shirt.

The older girl took a deep breath of putrid, smoke filled air, and stood, holding the two children closer, she walked slowly and carefully to the kitchen of the disgusting house.

She maneuvered her way around ten or so unconscious bodies that littered the raunchy, carpeted floor of the living room.

She enter the rat filled kitchen, looked to her left at the fridge.

The rats didn't even bother to scatter as she entered the room, this was their domain, and if the skinny-legged, bruised girl wanted to be there, they didn't care.

She made her way to the fridge, and shifted the boy onto her hip as she opened to door.

The only thing in the raunchy refrigerator was a carton of milk, twelve days past its expiration date.

She pulled the disgusting, rotting milk from the fridge, and set it on the counter.

She walked to pantry, and opened the door. Bare shelves stared back at her from every angle.

She went to the far back of the pantry, squatted down, placed the two children on the floor, and crawled under the lowest shelves into the spider filled dark.

She began to probe around the dark in front of her.

Finally her fingers hit something, she grasped it, and pulled it out into the light.

She looked at the can of dog food with listless, glazed eyes.

She sighed, and ventured back into the dark, she began to probe again with her fingers.

She finally hit something else, she pulled it out into the light.

Oatmeal, an old box of oatmeal that had tumbled back there years ago when things had been better, when Mommy and Daddy hadn't been the way they were now.

She sighed and picked up the can of dog food as well as the oatmeal, and walked back into the kitchen, two sets of little legs following her.

She set the can and the box down, leaned over, and scooped the two children up, and set them on the counter.

She then stood on her toes to reach the cupboards, and she pulled a large bowl out of the barren cupboards.

She heard a loud, angry growling sound.

She looked to her left. The little boy looked back at her, holding his grumbling stomach.

He whimpered,and she sighed.

She opened the can of dog food first, and poured it into the bowl, then she opened the box of oatmeal, there was only one packet left. She sighed as she took it out, and poured it over the dog food. The two little ones squealed, as they saw all of the little black bugs in the oatmeal. She sighed once more as she began to pick the bugs out. After she was sure she'd gotten all of the bugs out, she opened the milk, and poured what was left over the dog food-oatmeal slop.

She pulled a spoon out of the rotting mess of nasty food rot in the sink, she rinsed it off as best as she could. Then she mixed all of the slop together, and pushed it between the two children.

The little kids looked at the revolting mess, then at her with their over-bright eyes.

"I know it's not the best, but it's all we've got..."she said sadly, a sob catching in her throat.

The two children regarded her sadly, then they each grabbed a spoon out of the raunchy sink, and began to eat.

She left, and went back into the filthy, body laden living room, careful not to wake any of the drugged out people.

She made her way back to the center of the room, carefully sat down, hugged her knees to her chest, hid her face in her knees, and sat still for a full two minutes.

Then her whole body began to shake.

No sound escaped her, as she sat there, her whole body shaking, sobbing silently,careful not to wake anyone up.

She started as she felt a tender, small hand touch her shoulder.

She pulled her head up, and looked at the little boy, wiping her eyes as she did so,"What's up?"she asked shakily, trying to bring herself under control.

"Don't be sad Sissy,"he said solemnly, his little eyes showing wisdom and knowledge beyond his years.

"I'm fine, everything's fine,"she said, hugging him tightly.

He hugged her back, whispering,"I love you Sissy..."

"I know..."she whispered back,"I know..."

Then the little boy began to shake, his head kept shaking to the left and right involuntarily.

She pulled back and looked at him mystified, then his shoulders rolled forward and he puked.

Vomit splattered to the left of her, splashing onto her bare feet.

He looked at her with glazed, half lidded eyes,"I'm sorry..."he whispered, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.

She looked at him fearfully,"It's alright, but you need to go hide while I clean this up, if Daddy comes home and sees this...well, you just need to take Sarina and go hide, go to the backyard or something, but no matter what, stay there, no matter what you hear, stay hidden, understand?"

He looked at her, terrified,"But Daddy...he's gonna hurt you, I won't let him hurt you..."he whispered fearfully.

"No, listen to me,"she said, giving him a light shake,"you and Sarina need to hide, I can take care of Daddy, but if he gets ahold of you...well, I can't let that happen, if anything happened to you, I'd die. You don't want me to die do you?"

His eyes widened, terror splashing across his face,"No!! You can't die, I don't want you to die!!"he said fearfully.

"Okay then, you need to go take Sarina and hide, do you hear me, _**you need to hide!!**_"she whispered fiercely.

A loud crash outside interrupted them.

"_RUN!!"_she whispered fearfully, turning him away, and pushing him towards the door.

He turned to look at her once, before running into the kitchen.

She heard the back door slam.

She breathed a sigh of relief, and then she heard the front door creak open.

Her heart almost stopped, her whole body stiffened, as she turned slowly towards the door, the familiar scent of beer filled her nose.

"Daddy..."she breathed, her heart beating a tattoo against her ribs.

He looked at her, then at the puddle of vomit.

The world stood still for a single instant.

"YOU STUPID BITCH!!"he shouted, his bloodshot eyes rolling back in his head,"I'LL KILL YOU!!"

Before she knew what was happening, he had her by the neck, and was shaking her as hard as he could.

"You think you can mess up my house, and I won't notice!?!? Bitch, I'll show you!!"he howled, smacking her as hard as he could across the face.

**CRUNCH**

Her nose cracked, blood splashing across the walls and floor, splattering across the still unconscious people on the floor.

He threw her to the ground, and began to kick her again and again, hitting her in the head, stomach, face, back, and chest.

Pain shot across every nerve in her body, almost blinding her with agony

She curled up into a little ball, and prayed for the attack to end soon, or at least for one of the people on the floor to wake up.

He continued to kick her, until he dragged her to her feet, and began to punch her again and again in the stomach.

She prayed and prayed, never letting a sound escape her lips, not letting him have the satisfaction of hearing her scream.

He punched her again and again, before finally throwing her aside, directly into a wall.

She slid down the wall, leaving a trail of blood on the wallpaper.

He snorted in disgust, coming over to stand above her.

"_Please no...please not now...don't let him...dear God..."_she prayed, hoping against hope he wouldn't do it.

He continued to stare at her, he snorted, and spit on her face.

She didn't flinch as the glob of spit hit her.

"_Thank God..."_she thought, letting out her held breath, he wasn't going to do it.

He snorted again, before turning to stalk off, no doubt looking for Mommy somewhere.

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June 17, 1970, 12:07am

She lay there on the floor, eyes glazed, her chest barely moving, no other signs she was alive.

Finally, she managed to push herself up, and she staggered through the living room, not caring who she hit, she stumbled through the kitchen, and finally, she pushed her way out through the back door.

She walked across the overgrown grass to the old empty doghouse, she fell to her knees, and crawled inside the huge igloo shaped dome.

The two younger children hurried to her side, stroking her hair gently, they pulled her farther into the structure.

"I'm sorry..."whispered the boy, stroking her hair, wiping the blood off her face with his T-shirt.

She looked at him with one eye, and barely managed a smile,"I'm okay..."she managed to croak.

They did their best cleaning her up, and then they curled up next to her, burying their faces onto her T-shirt, they finally fell into a deep sleep.

The girl lay awake for a while longer, finally, she sighed, and allowed herself to drift off to sleep.

Thus ended another day in the life of ten year old Miranda Garnell.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer:I don't own anything involved with this story.

Sorry about the sadness in the last chapter, I hope you like this chapter better, and if you haven't picked up on it, this story is going to jump around from chapter to chapter, so make sure to pay attention to the dates listed!

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January 18, 2008, 6:27am

John couldn't believe his eyes when that woman stepped through the gate.

She had soft reddish-brown chestnut hair that glowed in the soft morning sunlight that filtered in from the windows, her hair was naturally, softly curled.

She had deep, dark blue eyes that were strangely mysterious and enticing at the same time.

Her form was delicate, but he could tell, she knew how to take care of herself.

He gaped at the way her body was perfectly curved, and toned, and the way the curtain of hair hung down her back.

Her smile though, was her best feature. He saw the way she smiled when she looked at Rodney, she had great teeth, but that wasn't why he was immediately drawn in, it was the level of emotions and feelings in it. It was her smile, more than her eyes, that was the window to her beautiful soul.

John could tell, even this far away, Mona Lisa's smile had nothing on this girl.

He was immediately smitten, and determined that this delicate, fragile looking creature would be his.

He was stunned into oblivion, his heart stopping beating, when he saw her walk straight into Rodney's arms, bury her face into his shoulder, and whisper something into his ear.

_"What the __**HELL?!**__"_thought John, barely able to process why this beautiful creature would pick Rodney.

After all, this was _Rodney!!_

Unattractive Rodney. He was so conceited, but even _Rodney_ wasn't unaware of the way women seemed to avoid him like the plague.

And yet, this gorgeous, delicate, sweet creature was holding onto Rodney as if he was the last man on earth, or Atlantis.

John could feel his jaw gaping, but as hard as he tried, he couldn't shut his gaping mouth, a lot of the other men in the room were having a similar reaction.

Rodney however, was completely oblivious, as he hugged the beautiful woman.

And of all the indecencies, she was hugging him back!!

"You...uh...might wanna close your mouth, you're starting to drool,"said Sam, reaching over, and pressing his jaw back into its proper place.

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January 18, 2008, 6:30am

Rodney finally released Miranda from the embrace, and began to look her up and down.

"See anything you like?"she teased, smiling in mock flirtation.

"All I keep seeing is that gangly, too-skinny twelve year old girl,"said Rodney, smiling as well.

She grinned even more broadly,"I wasn't gangly."she said teasingly,"I was just taller than _you._"

Rodney kept smiling,"Right just keep telling yourself that."he said, putting an arm around her waist, and gently leading her away from the gate.

She laughed, handing him her backpack, and letting her hand rest for a moment on his shoulder before asking,"Hey, by the way, did you get that birthday present I sent you, Siler said that he'd get it to you. But knowing him, he probably got caught up in those gizmos of his, and he forgot to send it."

"Oh what, you mean that horrible ear bleeder of a CD you sent me?"teased Rodney,"Yeah I got it, as a matter of fact I listened to it this morning, before you arrived."

"Really? Do you like it, I shopped hours for it,"she teased, laughing.

"Oh, yeah it's great,"said Rodney sarcastically, continuing to lead her away from the gate,"I especially love that song, 'Drowning Lessons', it's amazing, really."

She laughed, her sweet laugh echoing through the silent, stunned room.

"Hi, wanna let me in on the joke?"asked John, bounding up to them.

Underneath his hand, Rodney felt Miranda's back stiffen.

They both fell silent, looking at him, and Rodney could feel Miranda begin to tremble slightly.

"What?"asked John, confused,"Oh right, look, Miranda, whatever Rodney's told you about me, it's all a lie."

He grinned, waiting for them to laugh, instead, Miranda began to shake more violently, and she retreated slightly behind Rodney.

Johns brow furrowed in confusion, he cocked his head slightly to the left,"Rodney, what's going on with her?"he asked.

Rodney heard an almost silent whimper escape from Miranda, as she retreated farther behind him.

"John, go away."said Rodney in a deadly quiet, level voice.

"What? No, I don't want to."said John, getting angry.

"No, you don't understand, you. Have. To. Leave."said Rodney firmly, taking a small step back.

"Why? What's the problem?"asked John angrily, taking a step forward.

Miranda whimpered louder, ducking down behind Rodney's back.

Rodney could feel his blood pressure going up, why didn't Sheppard understand? He needed to leave, now!

"Just trust me, you need to walk away!"hissed Rodney furiously through clenched teeth.

"Why should I?"shouted Sheppard angrily, much too loudly.

Several things happened at once.

Miranda screamed, fell down to the ground, and threw her arms over head, as if to protect herself.

Rodney's instincts took over, and before he even had time to register, he drew his hand back, balled his hand into a fist, and threw his balled fist directly into Sheppard's face.

John flew backwards from the force of Rodney's punch, and he collapsed onto the ground, he was knocked out cold.

Then, Miranda lifted her head, looked fearfully at John's limp body, and her eyes rolled back in her head, and she collapsed.

The last thing she heard was Rodney's voice,"_**Miranda!!**_"

Then she lost consciousness, and the world was no more.

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January 18, 2008, 7:47am

_"Miranda...Miranda...Miranda..."_

The voice sounded like static coming through water.

"_Miranda..."_

She groaned, shaking her head from left to right, attempting to clear the cobwebs from her mind.

She opened her eyes slowly, and saw the outline of a familiar face.

"Rodney?"she groaned, fighting to hold onto consciousness.

Rodney's face broke out in a relieved smile,"Hey Kitty-Kat, it's good to see your awake."he said, sitting down in the chair next to the bed in the infirmary.

She snorted slightly, "Kitty-Kat? You haven't called me that since we were kids."

He laughed nervously,"Sorry, it's just, I was kinda worried."he said, chewing his lip.

"Why? What happened? Why am I here?"she asked, casting her eyes around the infirmary.

"You passed out, your okay now though, the doctor thinks it was just a chemical overload in your brain due to traumatic stimuli,"said Rodney, smiling.

"Huh? A chemical overload due to traumatic stimuli? You mean I got so scared that I fainted?"she asked, cocking her head to the left.

"Yeah, that's what Dr.Kellar says,"replied Rodney, looking everywhere except at Miranda.

She chuckled slightly,"It's okay Rodney, you can ask."she said, grinning sweetly at him.

"What, no I wasn't going to ask anything, nope, I'm totally fine, no questions..."babbled Rodney, attempting to hide his embarrassment.

"It's alright Rodney,"she said, cutting him off,"I understand, I know you have questions, so just ask them and let's just get this over with."

Rodney swallowed uncomfortably,"Well..."he began.

"Yes?"

"Well, it's just, I mean, that guy you saw in the gate-room, you know who he was right?"asked Rodney, staring at his hands.

"Lieutenant Colonel John Sheppard, leader of the flagship team on the Atlantis base, which is located in the Pegasus Galaxy,"she answered mechanically, her eyes with a faraway look in them.

"Yeah, that's him, so if you knew who he was, why'd you freak out, I mean, you told me you didn't freak out anymore, so what happened?"asked Rodney, concerned, leaning forward, waiting for her reply.

She sighed, closing her eyes,"Rodney..."she sighed again,"Rodney, I'm sorry I freaked out, what I said was true, I don't usually freak out like that anymore, it's just...when I came through that gate, I didn't expect to run into someone who looked exactly like him."

Rodney stared at her, brow furrowed in confusion, his heart hurting for the pain he knew she was in,"Who? Who did he look like?"asked Rodney gently, taking her hand.

"Anthony..."she breathed quietly,"He looked like Anthony. I saw photos of him, John I mean, and I thought he kind of looked like him, but no more than anyone else, but when I saw him in real life...it was different."

"Different how?"asked Rodney gently, gripping her hand tighter.

She inhaled deeply,"Different in that...when I saw John coming towards me, and I saw the way he acted, and I heard his voice, it all just came back, and I saw Anthony, and I _knew_ it was John, and I kept telling myself it was John, but no matter what I did, I couldn't stop thinking it was Anthony, and I panicked. I'm sorry Rodney."she finished, opening her eyes and looking sadly at him.

"That's okay,"said Rodney, reaching up and brushing a few stray strands of hair behind her ear,"I told John I was sorry for punching him, and I told him that you got scared easily, so he forgave you."

"Really?"she asked hopefully, smiling up at him.

"Yeah, of course, it might have had more to do with his feelings towards you though. Something tells me he's going to want to develop a very close working relationship with you."said Rodney, smirking at her.

"Rodney!!"she said, appalled, smacking him on the arm.

"Ow!!"exclaimed Rodney in mock pain.

She smirked at him, shifting her body, and swinging her legs out of the bed,"C'mon Roddykins, I never got to get a good look at this place, give me a tour."she said, still smirking at Rodney.

Rodney's face drained of color,"You're not going to call me that in front of my team are you?"he asked, worried.

"Of course not,"she said teasingly,"Roddykins."

She hopped off of the bed, and headed towards the door, leaving a stunned Rodney standing in the infirmary.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer:I own nothing involved in this story.

Okay, so I'm definitely sure that I'm going to have to change the rating from T to M, but I'm still trying to decide, let me know what you think. Also, I hope you guys like this chapter as much as you liked the previous ones.

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July 20, 1972, 3:24am

_"Doctor, I still don't understand, what's wrong with him?"_

Rodney couldn't process anything in the world around him except that soft voice next to his head.

He forced his eyes open just a crack, and quickly snapped them shut.

Blinding, white lights tortured his bloodless retinas, he gently eased his eyes back open, and looked to his left.

A mass of super curly strawberry blonde hair met his eyes, as well as a purple jacket with a torn hood. Jeannie.

"Jeannie..."he managed to groan, trying to breathe through his mouth, discovering an intubation tube in his throat.

He fought the tube, but then he gave up, resigning to let the machine breathe for him.

"_Doctor!! Doctor, he said something!! He's awake!!"_said the mass of strawberry blonde hair, turning to look at him.

Rodney, tilted his eyes slightly to look at her, and gave a half-hearted bitter smile through the tube.

"Oh Rodney,"she choked tearfully, stroking his hair back, and looking at him sadly,"Why? Why?"

Rodney closed his eyes,"_Why'd she have to bring that up now? Why can't she just be glad I'm here, why does she have to ask?"_he thought, his heart sinking farther into his chest.

"Rodney? _**Rodney!?**_"she cried, shaking him by the shoulder,"Wake up!!"

Rodney groaned, opening his eyes to glare at her,"Stop it!!"he hissed, trying to talk through the tube.

She breathed a sigh of relief,"Rodney..."she breathed, leaning down and putting her arms around him,"Why would you do that Rodney?I know its bad, but Rodney, _suicide!?_" she said, looking at him with tears in her eyes.

Rodney looked at her, anger flashing through his eyes,"I wasn't trying to _kill_ myself,"he said defensively,"I just wanted the pain to go away, I didn't really try to kill myself."

Sh sighed and sank into the chair next to his bed,"Rodney..."she sighed, she stopped abruptly, and stared at her hands,"Rodney, Mom and Dad..."

Rodney closed his eyes, and sighed around the tube,"What do the Bitch and Bastard want to do with their favorite little failure now?"he asked as sarcastically as he could, talking around the tube.

Jeannie's eyes flashed,"Rodney!!"she whispered, putting her hands up as if to stifle his words,"Don't say that, if they hear you say that..."

"I don't care!!"snapped Rodney, looking fiercely into her eyes, and then looking at the ceiling.

She sighed, and took his hand,"Alright, alright, do what you Rodney, but try to remember, what you do affects other people, not just you."she said, quietly scolding him.

Rodney's eyes snapped open, fury and rage flashing across his face, he tried to shout, but was hindered by the tube, he ripped it out of his mouth, and swallowed massive gulps of oxygen, his fury building.

"**You think I don't know that!?!?**"he shouted, his arms flailing furiously,"**You think that I haven't thought about this every single second of every single day?!?! I don't need you tell me that I'm a screw up and that I ruin everyone's life!!**"

He collapsed back onto his pillow, his chest heaving, his face flushed.

Jeannie looked fearfully at him,"Rodney...you know that's not what I meant..."she whispered terror stricken, she backed up a few feet,"Rodney, if you don't know that I love you, then..."

"I know.."whispered Rodney quietly,"Believe me Jeannie, I know, I know you love me, but I can't do anything to stop, I've tried, believe me..."

She swallowed quietly,"I know,"she whispered, taking a few small steps forward ad sinking back into the chair, and taking his hand gently,"I know Rodney...I know..."

She leaned forward in her chair and rested her head on his arm.

Rodney closed his eyes and exhaled heavily, steadying himself,'So...what did Mom and D...Da...Da..."he stuttered, trying to steady his voice, he couldn't say the name,"What did Mom and..._Him..._decide to do with me?"

Jeannie opened her eyes, and lifted her head to look at him, she sighed,"They've decided that they can't stand the idea of having a suicidal son anywhere near them, so they've arranged for you to go to Twin Pines Children's Psychiatric Treatment and Rehabilitation Facility in Toronto,"she replied sadly.

Rodney sighed and closed his eyes,"I'm sorry,"he whispered to her,"I'm sorry about all of this, I'm sorry that you're the one who had to find me..."

"It's okay,"she quickly reassured him, squeezing his hand,"I totally understand, I mean, if Dad had found you...you never would have made it to the hospital."

He sighed, and slipped his hand out of hers and rolled over so his back was facing her.

"Rodney..."she began, startled and hurt.

"I just wanna be left alone for a little while,"said Rodney, not even turning to say it to her face.

Jeannie fell silent, and her head drooped, then she lifted her head,"Hey Rodney, I'll just go and get you some hospital food, I know how much you like it."she said, faking brightness, then she got up and bounded out of the room, and down the corridor.

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July 20, 1972, 3:56am

"Jeannie?"

Jeannie looked up from the tray of unappetizing food she'd assembled for Rodney.

"Oh, Agent Hartley, why are you here?"asked Jeannie of the man dressed in a formal black suit.

"I just heard of Agent McKay's condition, I've come to confirm,"said Hartley, glancing around as if he expected Rodney to pop up out of the floor.

Jeannie looked at him furiously,"Well agent Hartley, _agent_ McKay is still the same, he's lying in the ICU with tubes up his nose and down his throat, he's being pumped full of saline, and blood, and he's almost _dead_ because he was so miserable he sliced his arms up so badly he hit an artery, and you have the _balls_ to ask me about my brother's condition?"she snarled, outraged.

Agent Hartley blinked,"Jeannie, I'm sorry about agent McKay, but what am I supposed to do about it, I'm a member of the CIA, not CSIS, I have no jurisdiction in Canada!"he snapped, almost equally as angry.

"Well, for starters, you could stop calling him _agent _McKay, he has a name, it's Rodney, he hates the name McKay, and he doesn't need to be reminded that he's a McKay every second of every day! Also, you could start paying more attention to Rodney's actual condition, rather than thinking about how much government funding went into making him into a full fledged junior agent,"snarled Jeannie, not ready to be appeased.

Agent Hartley sighed,"Alright, alright, you win, Jeannie, and I wasn't here to just check up on the resident Canadian brainchild, I was actually here to give this to agent McKay, sorry, Rodney,"he said, handing Jeannie a white envelope with the official CIA seal on it.

"What is it?"asked Jeannie, examining the envelope.

"It's a discharge order, issued directly from the US government, it also contains a formal apology, and a medal for services rendered, it's for Rodney," he said gently, looking at her.

"A formal discharge? A medal?"she said slowly, cocking her head to the left,"You mean...Rodney's being fired?"

"I'm sorry, I truly am,"replied agent Hartley,"but the US government has a very strict policy involving using minors in Federal affairs as it is, we had to make a special exception for Rodney, and now, well the US government has a mandatory law involving people who attempt to commit suicide, they are to be discharged immediately, it doesn't matter who they are, it's a mandatory discharge."

She sighed,"Oh great, this is just perfect!"she huffed,"As if Rodney wasn't miserable enough, now he's being fired!!"

She gave one final snort, turned on her heel and stalked off down the corridor, headed towards Rodney's room.

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July 20, 1972, 4:16am

Rodney lay still, silent, and alone, thinking about his predicament.

He sighed, and shifted into a more comfortable position.

He was going to a mental facility, one that doubled as a rehab clinic for kiddies all hyped up and drugged up on speed.

He knew it was going to be really bad, as in terrible, after all, his parents had finally done what they'd wanted to do for years, they were getting rid of him.

"_I guess I should have expected this, after all, the Bitch never could stand having something wrong with her perfect life..."_thought Rodney bitterly, remembering all the times his mother had told him he was a mistake, even when he'd tried his best.

He thought back to the time he was recruited by the American CIA, it was after he'd built and brought his sixth grade science fair project to school, the US government had showed up, and after a grueling six hour interview, he was recruited.

He thought bitterly to the beating he'd been given after that little incident, it'd been worse than all of the rest of them.

His father had screamed and shouted at him called him a freak, and said he'd hated him.

Then he'd dragged Rodney up to Rodney's room, and had...

Rodney shut his eyes tight, attempting to block the flood of memories soaking back into his brain.

That little sliver of light that would seep into his room when his father was pushing the door open, the sound of those rusty hinges creaking open, the screech of the springs as he settled himself...

"_No, no, no, no,NO, NO,__**NO, NO, NO!!**_"screamed Rodney's mind, the doors in his mind crashing back down, refusing him access to the memories.

Rodney began to whimper as the memories threatened to overtake his weary mind, he began to thrash wildly, and hold onto his head.

He thrashed and jerked, and finally, without warning, he flew into a seizure, his whole body jerking, his mind paralyzing, and all he could think were broken, disconnected thoughts as his head repeatedly slammed into the pillow behind him.

The last thing he could remember before he passed out was,"_I wonder what Twin Pines will be like...I hope it's not too bad..."_


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer:I own nothing involved in this story.

I just wanted to say that I'm definitely going to have to turn this into an M rated story, but not yet, but in a few chapters, I'm going to have to change the official rating, so you might want to watch that. Also, I just wanted to thank everyone for reviewing!

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January 18, 2008, 8:16am

"So this is the commissary, or the, mess hall, if you like that better,"said Rodney, gesturing with a wide sweep of his arms.

Miranda couldn't stifle a giggle, biting hard onto her fist to keep from laughing.

"What?"asked Rodney, confused.

"It's nothing...it's just...I was thinking back to that time you started a food fight, remember, in the cafeteria, and from then on, everyone called it 'Meredith's Mess',"she choked, trying not to lose it.

"Oh, you just had to bring that up,"said Rodney sarcastically.

"Oh you know I don't mean it...Meredith,"she choked, biting her knuckles hard, trying, and failing, not to laugh.

She burst out laughing, her laughter echoing across the crowded mess hall.

Everyone in the hall stopped what they were doing, looking up towards the source of the sweet sound.

"Miranda...everyone's looking at us,"Rodney mumbled out of the corner of his mouth, his face flushed.

She snapped her jaws shut, and looked at Rodney's bright red face, and then she lost it all over again, and had to duck around the corner, where her laughter could still be heard.

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January 18, 2008, 8:21am

"So that's the new girl Sheppard was talking about,"said Ronon, glancing over his shoulder.

"Yes, I believe that is the girl John was referring to,"replied Teyla, glancing up for a mere moment, before returning to her plate.

Ronon watched her with interest,"Are you really going to eat all that?"he asked, staring at the mountain of food on her plate.

"Yes,"answered Teyla, annoyed,"Why?"

"Oh, you know, no reason, that just seems like a lot of food,"replied Ronon lamely, choosing to stare at his plate, rather than look at her.

"Well, Dr.Kellar says that I need to eat a substantial amount if the baby is to stay properly nourished,"replied Teyla, even more annoyed,"Why, does it matter how much I eat?"

"Not really,"said Ronon, looking at her, smiling.

She sighed, rolled her eyes, and continued to eat.

"Why do you not make yourself useful, and go introduce yourself to the new girl, John says that we should try to make her feel at home,"said Teyla, trying to rid herself of Ronon, embarrassed to let him watch her demolish the food.

"Okay,"relied Ronon, getting to his feet and walking over to where Rodney and Miranda were talking.

Teyla watched him leave, and though about the way he walked.

Ronon never _walked_ anywhere, he seemed to glide easily across the ground, his powerful strides similar to that of a cats.

Teyla stared blankly at him, her thoughts wandering, not realizing she was staring until he was right in front of her, snapping his fingers in front of her face.

"Teyla, Teyla,**Teyla!!**"said Ronon sharply, snapping to get her attention.

"What!?"said Teyla, jerking out of her daze.

"I was _saying_, Teyla Emmagen, meet second Lieutenant Miranda Garnell,"said Ronon, smiling at her amusedly, gesturing to the woman next to him.

"Oh..., oh right, um...I am sorry, my name is Teyla Emmagen,"said Teyla, standing and holding her hand out to Miranda.

"Hi, my name is Miranda Garnell, like he said,"replied Miranda, smiling warmly, and grasping Teyla's hand.

"I am pleased to meet you, I've heard nothing but good things about you,"said Teyla, shaking her hand, still smiling.

Miranda laughed lightly,"Well I'm sorry to say, I've heard very little about you, Rodney never tells me anything in his letters,"she said, jerking her head at Rodney, who stood vigilantly next to her.

"That's not true,"said Rodney defensively.

"Oh please,"said Miranda, turning to stare at him, eyebrows raised.

Rodney's face flushed, and he avoided looking into her eyes.

She returned her attention to Teyla, gesturing for Teyla to sit,"So,"she said, picking up an orange that Ronon had forgotten to eat,"When are you due?"

Teyla's face flushed bright red,"I did not believe it was that apparent yet,"said Teyla, embarrassed, staring at her plate of cold food.

"Oh, don't worry about it sister, it's not, I just have a sixth sense about these things,"replied Miranda quickly, as she peeled her stolen orange, and began to eat.

Teyla blinked,"I do not believe that we are related, I do not believe you are my sister,"said Teyla, confused.

Miranda choked, trying not to laugh,"Oh, well, it's just a saying, back on my planet,"she said, coughing.

"Oh,"replied Teyla,"I see."

Miranda grinned,"So what are you going to name him?"she asked, leaning forward, resting both of her forearms on the table.

Teyla blinked,"How did you know it was a boy?"she asked slowly.

Miranda grinned even more broadly,"Didn't I already tell you? I got a sixth sense about these things."she replied, swallowing another piece of orange.

"A sixth sense? I do not believe I have ever heard of such a thing,"said Teyla, confused, tilting her head to the left.

"What?! You're telling me you've never seen that movie? 'I see dead people'? You've seriously never seen that movie?"she asked, stunned, gaping at her.

Teyla's eyes widened, a mixture of fear and confusion clouding her features,"I do not believe I have ever heard of someone being able to see dead people,"she said, backing away slightly.

Miranda rolled her eyes,"It's a line, from a movie, it's really popular back on my planet. You have seen a movie before, right?"she asked, her eyebrows raised.

"Yes, John has shown me a few movies, but I have never heard of one quite like that,"replied Teyla, visibly relaxing.

"Well, you're in luck, because it just so happens, I brought that movie with me, it's my fourth favorite, we can watch it together, like a girls movie night,"said Miranda, smiling her widest.

Teyla grinned in return,"I would enjoy that a great deal,"she said, preparing to leave,"I hope we can arrange a time later, but I must go to see Dr.Kellar."

She stood, picked up her almost full plate, and turned to leave.

"Hey, wait, I'll come with you, for moral support,"said Ronon, getting up to leave also.

"Well, it was very nice meeting you Miranda, good seeing you again Rodney, goodbye,"said Teyla, leaving, Ronon trailing dutifully behind her.

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January 18, 2008, 8:34am

"Wow, they were nice,"said Miranda as she and Rodney were leaving the mess hall.

"Yeah, they do kind of grow on you after a while, even if they have absolutely no understanding of modern technology,"said Rodney.

"Hmmmm..."mumbled Miranda, her mouth full of orange,"Hey do you want some of this?"

She held out two slices of the orange.

Rodney looked at her,"Oh yeah, I love oranges, except, I'm deadly allergic to citrus,"said Rodney sarcastically.

Miranda looked up from her orange and blinked,"Oh wait, right, I forgot, Rodney, your scared of fruit,"she said, feigning stupidity.

"Oh please, I am not afraid of a fruit,"said Rodney condescendingly, turning to look a her.

"Really?"she said, raising her eyebrows,"So, you're telling me, you got over your little fruit phobia?"

"Yeah,"said Rodney, putting his hands into his pockets, speaking in a know-it-all voice.

She grinned devilishly, picking up a slice of orange in each hand,"Well then, you won't mind my testing that little theory, will you?"she said, holding up both slices, and moving them close to Rodney's face.

Rodney swallowed hard,"Ummm...what are you doing?"he choked, backing away from her, and the deadly orange slices.

She smiled in a slightly flirtatious manner,"Awww...was wong Woddykins?"she asked in her best baby voice, advancing ever closer and closer, still holding the deadly orange slices in front of her.

Rodney swallowed again, continuing to back up until he hit the wall, his eyes wide, sweat sliding down his brow,"Miranda..."he said in a slightly warning voice.

She smiled her 'Hannibal Lector' smile even wider,"Awww...it's just a little piece of fruit, you're not scared, are you, Roddykins?"she said, drawing ever closer.

Rodney decided to take his chance at escape, before he was force fed orange slices.

He lept to the right at the exact same moment she lunged forward, holding her orange slices like knives.

He sped down the corridor as fast as he could, Miranda, the crazy orange bearing woman right behind him.

He tore through the familiar corridors, gritting his teeth as she was easily catching up, then, suddenly, without warning, she gathered herself, and launched herself at him.

She slammed into him, the force sending both of them flying in different directions, she landed across the corridor, and Rodney ended up on the left side. He lay groaning, holding his arm, cursing. Miranda quickly recovered, rolled over onto her stomach, stood and came to stand over Rodney.

"You alright?"she asked,bending down to examine his arm.

"Yeah, I'm just great, I love being tackled by a crazy woman,"replied Rodney sourly, rubbing his arm.

"Oh, well sorry,"she said, grinning"maybe I can help with the pain."

She swung one leg over to his left side, so she was straddling him while she was standing, then she sat on his chest.

Rodney groaned and grunted in pain as she took up residence on his chest.

"Get. Off. Of. Me"said Rodney, enunciating every syllable, trying to push her off of him.

She leaned forward, and with her face less than two inches from his own, she said,"Not on your life Roddykins, I haven't finished eating so I want to make it perfectly clear, I am not vacating the premises until I've finished my orange."

She finished her speech with a self satisfied smirk, eating another slice of the same orange.

Rodney glared at her for a few more moments before sighing and letting his head fall back onto the floor.

"Fine you win, but I wouldn't get comfortable,"said Rodney, closing his eyes, and refusing to acknowledge how annoyed he was.

She pouted as she slowly ate the last slice of orange,"Your no fun,"she said, still pouting.

He sighed, then from down the hall, they heard a shout,"Hey, you two, you know the rules, no public displays of affections in the halls,"the Marine shouted angrily, walking towards them.

"Crap,"she whispered, frightened, she leaped off of Rodney's chest, grabbed his hand and dragged him to his feet, then she yanked him down a corridor, running at top speed.

"Where are we going?!"shouted Rodney hysterically, trying not to trip over his feet.

"Anywhere we can get away from Captain America back there,"she panted, as she skidded to a stop, and ducking into a research lab.

She had been prepared to stop, but Rodney had not been, so when she stopped, Rodney kept going, tripped, and met the floor head on.

He lay on the floor, cussing, and holding his head, trying to stop the bleeding.

"Rodney, are you alright?!"shouted Miranda fearfully, racing to his side.

Rodney looked up at her, pain nearly blinding him, agony showing in his eyes, blood gushing through his fingers.

Terror flashed in her eyes as she pulled his hands away, leaning down to examine the bleeding.

"Rodney, Rodney, it's going to be okay...I promise, don't worry...help is on the way..."she said, applying pressure with one hand, and calling over the intercom,"Medical team to research lab D-9, we have a man down!!"

"_It's funny..."_thought Rodney brokenly, right before passing out,"_Those are almost the exact same words she said back in Anthony's living room...I wonder if they'll let me have ice cream this time...ow, this really hurts, why does this only happen when she's here...I hope he didn't hurt her...I'll kill him all over again...bastard..."_

Then everything went completely black.


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer:I own nothing involved with this story.

Okay, I think that from here on in, my story rating is changing from T to M. Also, I'm sorry for the delay in my updating but I had school all week, so I hope you can forgive me.

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June 22,1970, 3:54am

Miranda wandered amongst the bodies scattering the living room.

They were different from the ones who'd been there when Daddy had taken his temper out on her.

Her head still hurt and she was still walking with a limp, but everything else had healed up mostly.

Today, thankfully, Daddy was working all day and night, so she had time to clean up.

Mommy had held another party, and had invited several people who'd come, brought needles, and they'd all drank, injected themselves with the needles, then they'd all passed out.

She walked over to the window, bent down and pulled one of the needles from a mans arm. He didn't flinch as she pulled it out.

She sighed as she examined the needle, turning it over in her fingers, then she threw it into the overflowing garbage bag.

She continued to do this for all of the people, removing the needles from their arms, throwing them away, and in some cases, she had to wipe the crusted vomit off of their faces.

As she finished tending to the grown ups, the little boy walked into the room, stumbling as he walked to her.

"Sissy,"he groaned as he reached her,"Sissy, I don't feel good."

She bent down and looked into his eyes.

They were brighter than usual, sweat was sliding down his forehead, his whole body was trembling, and he was deathly pale.

She reached a hand up, and felt his forehead. It was burning hot.

She yanked her hand away, and looked sadly into his eyes.

She sighed as she pulled him into her arms and soothed him as he began to cry,"Sissy, it hurts, it hurts!"

"I know...I know..."she whispered, rocking him, wondering what to do.

She chewed her lip, and thought back to the times she'd been sick, trying to remember what Mommy had done for her then.

Finally she stood, heading down the dark hallway and turning to go into the mold coated bathroom.

She set him on the edge of the bathtub as she opened the medicine cabinet, searching for aspirin.

The medicine was all gone, only a few empty bottles were left in the cabinet.

She sighed, looking back at him.

She turned around, picked him up, and left the mold encrusted bathroom.

She headed farther down the hall, into Mommy and Daddy's old bedroom, where she set him on the floor, and went over to the dresser.

Miranda opened the topmost drawer, digging around in all of the old, unpaid bills, searching, until finally she pulled a brown pill bottle from the mess of papers.

She brought the bottle out, and held it up, examining the label, which read, Codeine.

She tried to read the warning label, but her vision began to blur, and she couldn't read it.

It would have to do, she popped the cap open, and looked in the bottle, only three pills were left.

She looked back at the label, until she found the expiration date, July 13, 1965.

"_What year is it?"_she thought to herself, trying to mentally count the number of years it had been since she knew what year it was.

_"Sixty-eight, Sixty-nine...right it's sixty-nine..."_she thought,"_Well that's not that far off from sixty-five..."_

She went over to where the little boy sat, rocking back and forth, sweating so much his T-shirt was soaked.

"C'mon, you need to rest,"she said, walking back into the dingy hall, crossing it and going into the room across from Mommy and Daddy's.

The room was small, cramped, and had no windows.

The room reeked of sweat and unwashed humans, the floor was covered in filthy blankets and old, half destroyed pillows.

The only source of light in the entire room was the single bulb that hung by a wire from the ceiling, casting yellow light starkly across the filthy walls.

She gently set him down as she began to shift the blankets around, moving them so they formed something like a nest.

She picked up the best pillow they had, and put in in the nest.

She then scooped the little boy up, stripping him of his shirt, then she sat him in the center of the makeshift nest.

He sat completely still, half naked, the weak light glinting off of his bruised, sweat coated chest, the light seeming to glare harshly off of his listless, glazed, over bright eyes.

He blinked, looking at her, his filthy, blood matted hair sticking to his forehead,"Sissy, I just wanna sleep...can I sleep?"

She looked at him, tears filling her eyes, her heart ripping in a thousand directions, completely shattering.

She shook her head,"Not yet,"she barely managed to choke,"You need to take this stuff first."

She held up the brown bottle, standing, and turning towards the door.

The little boy watched her leave, his chest barely moving, wanting nothing more than to sleep.

He waited, wishing against all hope that someone could come and take him and Sarina and big Sissy away, so they could all be happy.

He sighed, his body beginning to tremble, unable to support his weight.

He collapsed forward, shutting his eyes as the room began to swim.

Then he heard his big Sissy come back,"Robby!"he heard her cry, as she raced to his side.

She rolled him over, placing her hand on his chest, making sure he was still breathing.

Robby forced his eyes open, looking at her.

"Robby, hey buddy, hey you need to take this,"she whispered soothingly, holding out one of the pills.

He shook his head, clamping his mouth shut.

"C'mon, Robby, you have to take this or else you won't get better,"she said tearfully, trying to pry his jaws apart.

Robby sighed, looking sadly at her and nodding, he opened his mouth and swallowed the pill, following it with a glass of lukewarm water, letting it dribble down his chin.

He layed back,"Can I go to sleep now?"he asked weakly, his eyes pleading with her.

"Yes, you go to sleep now,"she whispered, helping him lay down.

He nodded solemnly, closing his eyes, and drifting off immediately.

She sighed as she closed her eyes, trying not to start sobbing.

She heard a rustling sound by the door, her head jerked up.

"Oh Sarina, it's just you,"she said, holding her arms out to the smaller girl.

"Sissy,"she whispered, her face flushed, sweat pouring down her face,"Sissy I don't feel good..."

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June 24, 1970, 4:59am

Miranda sat with her knees pulled to her chest, fighting the urge to sleep.

She'd been too busy taking care of Sarina and Robby to sleep.

Sarina had gotten sick shortly after Robby, they were both now lying in a half conscious daze.

They'd both had fevers that had almost burned her hand when she'd touched them, they had both been sweating and crying out in their sleep.

Sarina seemed to be getting better, but Robby still had a high fever, was still sweating, plus he'd started to crack up.

He kept calling out in his sleep,"_Lucas...Lucas...help...help...no...no...no...stay away from her...Lucas help me..."_

When Miranda had first heard him call out for Lucas, she was terrified, surely he remembered what had happened to Lucas, he had to.

She didn't know what to do, they'd run out of medicine, Robby wasn't getting better, only worse, and Sarina wasn't doing much better.

Her head shot up as she heard Robby whimper.

She was by his side in an instant, stroking his hair, whispering soothing words and sounds.

He was thrashing wildly, holding his head and his whimpers were getting louder.

"Shh...shh...it's okay,"she soothed, trying to get him to hold still.

As she tried to restrain him, she saw a splash of red on his back.

She flipped him over, and looked at the sea of red covering his back.

Angry red splotches stared at her from every space on his back, she gently prodded the red splotches, and was terrified when Robby screamed.

Robby's screams ripped through her heart like a knife, Robby was in excruciating pain.

She tried to soothe him, but every time she touched him, he screamed hysterically.

She began to panic, trying to understand what was wrong, when she saw a flurry of movement a few feet away.

Sarina was whimpering, and thrashing wildly, holding her head.

Miranda felt fear grip her as she slowly reached over and lifted Sarina's shirt and saw the same angry red splashes on her back, neck, and legs.

Sarina began to scream just like Robby as Miranda gently touched the red areas.

Miranda gasped, yanking her hand back, terrified and furious that she'd hurt her baby sister and brother.

She looked in dismay from Sarina to Robby, screaming at herself to try and think of something to do.

Tears of anger and frustration filled her eyes as she realized how powerless she was to help her family when they needed her.

She pulled her knees to her chest and buried her face in her knees, her body shaking from rage at herself, and the grief she felt knowing that everything that was happening was her fault.

As she sat there, an idea came to her from the pit of despair and fires of rage, the hospital.

Her head shot up, remembering back to the time Mommy had told her about the hospital, about how the people there would help anyone, no matter what, because it was their job.

She sniffed, crawling over to where Robby lay, curled into a fetal position and whimpering, she gently scooped him up, trying to avoid hitting his back.

She crept up to Sarina, and scooped her up as well, wincing as Sarina screamed.

She stood shakily, walking slowly out into the hall, careful not to jostle the two little ones.

She hurried down the hall as fast as she could, praying he wasn't there, but she had no hope.

"WHERE THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING!?!?!"he shouted, waving around his bottle, swaying as he tried to stay standing.

She swallowed hard, realizing that she'd have to run,"N...nothing..."she stammered, edging her way over towards the the front door.

"YOU STUPID LITTLE LIAR!!"he shrieked, his bloodshot eyes widening maddeningly, as he staggered towards her, raising his hand.

She knew what was coming, she darted away from his fist as fast as she could, bolting out of the door, as he staggered after her screaming curses and trying to grab her.

She raced at top speed out the front door, her heart racing as she heard him grunting behind her.

She raced across the overgrown lawn and onto the cracked pavement, feeling it digging painfully into her bare feet.

"GET BACK HERE YOU UNGRATEFUL LITTLE BITCH!!"he screamed, throwing his empty bottle at her.

It smashed into her legs, shattering and slicing her legs to shreds, but she kept running as fast as her bruised, exhausted, and shredded legs could carry her.

It was pitch black outside as she tried to remember where the hospital was, ignoring the burning in her arms and legs and trying to ignore the searing hot bodies in her arms.

She tore past street after street, looking everywhere for a hospital, until finally she saw a bright, luminous beacon of a sign that glared 'HOSPITAL' for everyone to see.

"_Finally..."_she thought desperately, swallowing hard, trying to overlook the burning sensation in her lungs and the scorching pain in her bloody legs.

She raced through the doors into the harsh fluorescent lights of the hospital, managing to startle the lady behind the desk in the process.

"What the bloody Hell!!"shrieked the lady behind the desk, jumping up and racing to meet them.

"Please...please...help my brother and sister...they're real sick...please..."choked Miranda, half sobbing and almost incapable of breathing, her bloody legs splashing gore all over the clean, polished tiled floor.

"_**Oh my God!!**_"the woman shouted, brushing her hair behind her ears, reaching out and feeling Robby and Sarina's heads, then she looked at the red splotches on their backs, and gasped.

She jumped up and raced to a red box on the wall, pressed the button and screamed**,"**_**We need a medical team to the North entrance immediately, we have a possible disease outbreak!! Get the Bio-hazard team down here immediately!!"**_

"_WHAT!!"_though Miranda frantically,"_They can't be that sick!! They can't be..."_

Then, the next thing she knew, there were hundreds of people all over everywhere, some of them wearing strange orange suits and helmets, holding strange devices, running them over her and her family, others weren't wearing suits but were trying to take Sarina and Robby out of her arms and trying to load them onto strange looking beds with wheels.

The noise was horrible, screams of the hysterical nurse from the front desk, the shouts of the men in the strange suits, the whine of the strange instruments in their hands, the shouts of the other people, trying to be heard, then, there was flashes of red and blue lights everywhere, and the screech of sirens and the noise started to grow.

Miranda was terrified and disoriented, hugging Robby and Sarina closer, trying to prevent the strange people from stealing them away.

Then, she felt a hand on her arm and another hand trying to grab onto Robby's arm, she freaked out, snarling and biting the hand, clawing at anything within reach, shrieking like a caged animal.

The people all abruptly stopped their noise, backing away from her.

They all stood silently, wary of the psychotic little girl, all afraid to get close, until finally, one man bravely stepped forward,"Hey there, little one, you need to listen to me,"he said slowly, taking a few hesitant steps forward, holding his empty hands out in front of him,"Hey, we just wanna take a look at your brother and sister, we can make them better."

"Stay away,"snarled Miranda, backing away, clutching the two dazed children closer,"I won't let you hurt them."

"No, no, no one's going to hurt them, I promise, we're going to help them,"he said, advancing closer,"We just want to make sure they're safe, I know you just wanna help them, and you did the right thing bringing them here, but I need you to give them to me so I can help them."

She glared at him, backing away a little more as he carefully stepped forward, bending down to look into her eyes, holding his arms out, ready to accept the children.

She looked at him distrustfully, backing up a little more.

"Shh...shh...it's okay...if you let me take them I'll take good care of them...I promise..."he whispered, inching forward, holding his arms out.

She looked at him for a long moment, then, she slowly, slowly handed Robby and Sarina over to him,"Remember, you promised..."she hissed, right as the doctor accepted the two young children.

He nodded as he stood slowly,"Alright,"he said with an authoritative tone,"now no one make any sudden moves, you two, you take care of the older one, and you four help me take care of the boy, you other four, you help Dr.Hahn to take care of the little girl. Understand?"

All the doctors in question nodded, walking slowly forward to accept their charges.

"Okay,"he said as they were all handed off and all calmed down,"Now let's try to get these kids checked out, and Dr.Cameron, get social services on the phone."

The woman in question nodded and hurried away, down a nearby corridor.

Miranda stood alone as everyone snapped into action, her legs still bleeding, tears forming in her eyes as the doctors quickly hurried her family away.

She was completely ignored until she felt a soft touch on her arm.

She jumped, looking at the young woman who was squatting down next to her, smiling sadly at her.

"Hi there,"said the woman gently,"What's your name?"

"M..Miranda..."stammered Miranda, chewing her lip.

"Well Miranda, why don't we see about getting your legs cleaned up and getting you some food,"said the woman, standing up and offering her hand to Miranda,"And maybe some new clothes?"

"Umm...okay,"said Miranda quietly, accepting the gentle hand.

"Okay then, well let's get you cleaned up and checked out before anything else,"said the young doctor, smiling.

Miranda nodded nervously as the young doctor led her away, glancing back once at her brother and sister.

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June 24, 1970, 5:32am

"Miranda...Miranda...wake up honey...Miranda..."the soft voice called out, breaking through the horrific, blood soaked nightmares.

"What's going on?!"cried Miranda, alarmed, as she jerked awake.

"Miranda, I'm so sorry,"said the young woman doctor tearfully, stroking Miranda's newly washed hair.

"What?! What's happened, are Robby and Sarina okay!?!?"demanded Miranda at once, shoving the womans comforting hands away.

"Miranda, I'm so sorry, but...Rkdof vbaklfhue kjded esl mealskfi,"said the woman gently, reaching out to Miranda.

"What?"asked Miranda, confused, not understanding what the woman had said,"I though I heard you say something about Robby and Sarina. Are they okay?"

"Miranda...I'm so sorry, both Robby and Sarina are dead. They died from a strain of the..."the womans voice faded into oblivion.

"_**NO!!**_"screamed Miranda's mind, unable to comprehend,"_**NO, NO, NO, NO, NO!!!!"**_

"**NO!!**"screamed Miranda hysterically, leaping away from the woman,"**NO, NO, NO THEY'RE OKAY!!!! THEY HAVE TO BE!!!!**"

She began to scream hysterically, everything around her spinning, pain worse than anything she'd ever felt ripping, shredding, and rampaging through her whole body.

She fell to her knees, screams of pure agony ripping from her throat, she felt as if her whole world had just opened up underneath her, and that she'd fallen into the black abyss.

_"Miranda!!"_shouted the young doctors voice, from somewhere above, from the depths of reality, following her into the empty, cold alone, blackness.

Miranda vaguely felt the doctor grab her arm and shake her,"_Miranda!!! MIRANDA!! Get ahold of yourself!! Miranda, calm down!!!"_she shouted uselessly, Miranda couldn't register anything anymore.

"**NO!! NO!! NO, NO, NO, THEY HAVE TO BE OKAY!! YOU PROMISED!!! **_**YOU PROMISED!!!**_"she screeched, falling onto the floor, grabbing handfuls of hair and ripping them out of her skull.

She writhed around on the floor, screams echoing out of her tormented body.

"_Miranda!!"_shouted the young doctor, shaking her, even knowing her actions were futile.

Miranda kept screaming, shoving the woman away, forcing herself to her feet, broken sobs and psycho screams echoing from her frail body.

"_Get her!!Don't let her leave the hospital!! And for God's sake, someone sedate her!!!"_shouted the woman, advancing on Miranda.

Miranda jerked her head from left to right, watching as all the people were advancing on her.

"**STAY AWAY FROM ME!!!**"screamed Miranda hysterically, backing away from them.

"_Miranda, we just want to help you..."_said the same young doctor who had earlier taken Robby and Sarina, promising to make them better.

"_**Liar...he's lying...he killed them...Robby and Sarina...and Lucas...he did it...**_"whispered Miranda's mind to her.

"**LIAR!!!**"screamed Miranda, backing away even more, edging even closer towards the front door of hospital,"**LIAR, LIAR, LIAR!!!!! YOU KILLED THEM!!! YOU KILLED ALL OF THEM!!! ROBBY AND SARINA AND LUCAS!!!!!YOU KILLED THEM!!!!!**"

_"Miranda, what happened to Robby and Sarina was tragic, but there was nothing we could have done, they were already dying!!!"_he shouted back, taking a step closer to her.

"**LIAR!!!**"screamed Miranda, turning and bolting straight out the front door, turning, and racing down the street as fast as she could.

She ran as fast as she could, desperate to escape the murdering bastards who'd killed her sweet baby brother, and her innocent little sister and her brave older brother Lucas, but she also ran to escape the horrible, piercing, inescapable pain that she felt, knowing it was her fault that they'd died.

She raced past the eerie early morning streets, past the filthy homeless people, past the disgusting, filth filled alleys, the revolting hookers who stood on the corner, past the garbage filled, narrow roads, and slum streets, ignoring the putrid green sludge that was coating her feet, she ran and ran until she could run no more.

When she finally stopped, she ducked into a scummy, sludge coated, dark alley, where garbage was littered everywhere and the only light came from a single, lone bulb that hung desolately from an outlet which hung over a door, which held a sign that said,'KEEP OUT'.

She took in the sight with pain filled eyes, her whole body was completely numb, the pain was still ripping at her, then, she heard a voice,"Hey girlie, whaz yur problem?"

She didn't even flinch at the sound of the harsh voice,"My baby brother and sister were just killed."she answered hollowly, looking towards the voice.

"Wull jeeez, tha' sucks!!"answered a young man, staggering into the faint light cast by the bulb,"Who 'er the bitches who'z dids it?"

Miranda looked him up and down, his hair was all over the place, he was holding onto the wall for support, he wasn't wearing any shoes, he had a bloody nose, and his clothes were torn in several places, his arms were covered in angry red pinpricks and hundreds of scratches, some of which were still bleeding.

"The doctors at the hospital, they killed them,"she said blankly.

He swore viciously, then he said,"Wull I'm sorry 'bout that, hopez you do a'ight,"then he turned and started to stagger away.

Miranda sank to her knees as he started to stagger off, a feeling of total isolation and hopelessness overtaking her, her eyes began to fill with tears, and her body began to shake with suppressed sobs.

Finally, she broke down, buried her face in her hands and began to sob hysterically.

From where he was, the young man swore, and turned around, and staggered back over to Miranda,"Here,"he said gruffly, shoving something into her face.

"What is that?"she asked, looking at the thing.

"I'z liquid angel dust,"he smirked, holding the needle out to her.

"Why would you give me that?"she asked, wiping her tears, looking distrustfully at the glass needle.

"Cuz yur in pain, and this stuff takes the pain away, always,"he replied dazedly,"Now you wan' it or not?"

She blinked,"Really?"she asked, reaching tentatively for the needle.

"Yup,"he replied smugly,"Now tha's th' only one you get for free, you wan' more, you gotta pay."

"How do you use it?"she asked, sniffing, looking at the needle, remembering back to how Mommy always managed to feel better after using these.

"Sheesh, you don' know nuthin',"he snorted, reaching forward, grabbing her arm, and ripping a strip from the new shirt the nurse had given her at the hospital.

He carefully tied the strip tight around her upper arm, and took the needle from her, and waited until her veins popped up from her flesh, he ripped the cap off of the needle, and he inserted it into her vein with precision, and injected all of the needles contents into her veins.

For a full three seconds, nothing happened, then, a feeling of pure bliss, and happiness, as well as a warm, plushy feeling flooded her entire body.

She inhaled sharply as the incredible lightness and joy overtook her entire body,"Told ya',"smirked the boy, standing, and turning away, already staggering back the way he'd come.

Miranda felt happier and more free than she'd ever felt before, but then, she felt a warm fog overtake her mind, and her whole world became hazy, and she felt herself slipping towards a warm unconsciousness.

The last thing she remembered thinking was,"_Wow...he was right...this stuff really works...it doesn't hurt anymore...I wonder if there's more..."_

Then, her world went black, and she knew no more.

Thus, began the life long love affair between ten year old Miranda Garnell and liquid cocaine.


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer:I own nothing involved in this story.

I hope you didn't all leave, I'm really sorry for not updating sooner!! I hope you can forgive me and I'm sorry if there was any undue sadness in the last chapter! I hope you like this chapter. Oh, and one more thing, watch the times closely in this chapter!!

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January 18, 2008, 8:38pm

"So how's the patient?"asked John as he bounded into the infirmary.

"Dr.McKay will be fine, the head wound bled a lot, but it's not serious,"replied Dr.Kellar with a soft smile.

"Oh yeah? I heard Rodney got hurt by the new girl, is it true?"asked John, feigning nonchalance.

"Yeah, I heard that one too, but I don't think it's true,"replied Dr.Kellar, glancing at where Rodney's bed was,"I think it was mostly just an accident, you know they got excited and Rodney got hurt."

"Right,"said John shortly, glancing at Rodney's bed,"So how long's she been there?"

They both looked at where Miranda sat vigilantly by Rodney's bed, holding is hand.

"All day,"said Dr.Kellar sadly, her big doe eyes shining.

"I thought you said it was an accident,"said John confusedly, tilting his head to the left.

"Yeah, it was,"said Dr.Kellar,"but try telling her that."

John glanced back at her,"Do you mind if I talk to her?"he asked.

"I don't know how she'll react, but you can try,"said Dr.Kellar with a shrug,"Only, I just finished reading her medical file, and I think you need to tone it down a little, she might not react well to seeing you."

"Right,"said John, walking past her, headed towards Rodney's bed.

"Oh, one more thing, lose the jacket,"said Dr.Kellar, almost as an afterthought.

John nodded, not even turning to look at her, shrugging off his jacket as he walked away.

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January 18, 2008, 8:42pm

Miranda was miserable, this wasn't going the way she'd hoped.

She and Rodney had corresponded for months, and he's never been able to tell her about Atlantis, but he'd kept promising that she'd one day be allowed to come here.

And finally, after all her hard work, having to earn a Ph.D. in astrophysics, joining the stupid Marines, then finding out she had to join the Air force if she wanted to join him, so she'd finally clawed her way up the ranks, and _finally_ she'd been able to come here, and within her first few hours she'd ended up in the infirmary. Then she'd managed to get Rodney hurt.

"This isn't the way you said it'd be,"she mumbled tearfully to him, caressing his hand with her thumb.

"What did he say it would be?"asked a soft voice next to her elbow.

She jumped slightly, quickly wiping the few stray tears on her face away, she looked over her shoulder at John.

"He said, he _promised_ it'd be like nothing I'd ever seen,"she said softly, looking at him sadly, tears still glistening on her cheeks.

John smiled gently at her, settling down in the second chair next to Rodney's bed,"Well, he's right, most of the time anyway,"said John in a low, soothing voice,"This place, Atlantis, it's not like anywhere you've ever been, the stuff that happens here, most of it I don't understand, but it's still really cool."

She blinked,"Really?"she breathed softly, leaning towards him slightly, her emotions playing across her face like a movie.

John nodded, a small grin gracing his lips,"Yeah, it's pretty damn cool,"he whispered, laughing lightly, staring into her dark blue eyes.

She grinned hesitantly in return,"Well, I hope it picks up soon,"she whispered, feeling a warm, fuzziness in her chest and stomach, tears still glittering on her cheeks.

John gently reached a rough, calloused hand forward, towards her face.

She pulled away sightly, a sliver of fear shining through.

"No...no...shh...it's okay..."soothed John gently, looking deeply into her eyes, his own eyes begging her to trust him.

She stopped, looking at him hesitantly.

He continued to reach forward until his soft, rough, calloused, fingers reached her face. He gently grazed his fingertips across her cheeks, tenderly brushing the tears from her soaked face.

"There,"he said quietly,"that's better isn't it?"

She gave him a small smile,"Thanks,"she whispered, gratitude shining through.

John smiled,"Not all guys like me are bad,"he said gently, getting to his feet.

"Wait, where are you going?"she asked, slightly dismayed.

"Well, I'm guessing Rodney's gonna wake up soon, and I'm sure he'd rather see a pretty girl by his bed than a guy who he punched this morning."said John with a small laugh, massaging the ring bruise he sported over his left eye.

"Sorry about that,"said Miranda quietly, not looking at him.

John grinned mischievously,"Well, it's no big deal, after all, Rodney's going to lose his favorite pen tomorrow, so I don't mind."he said, rubbing his hands together, grinning.

She couldn't suppress a laugh, trying to stifle her giggles.

"Ha ha, I got you to laugh, a big victory for me,"said John as he walked away backwards,"Oh, and congratulations on getting assigned to my team, I'm sure Rodney will be pleased."

She grinned hesitantly,"Yeah I'm sure..."she said faintly, watching him as he walked away, shuddering as the memories of Anthony resurfaced.

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January 18, 2008, 8:54pm

Miranda sighed as she watched Rodney's chest rise and fall rhythmically.

"_I'm so sorry Rodney..."_she thought dejectedly, twiddling with her thumbs,"_It's always my fault you get hurt..."_

She looked at his face, the bandages on his head standing out like white ribbons of light against his dusky hair.

She sighed again, her heart aching as she realized just how much she didn't fit in here.

She swallowed the massive lump in her throat,"Well, I guess I should stick with you, you've always done it for me,"she said, reaching out to stroke his ebony brown hair.

She felt a deep chasm in her chest and a deep longing to feel Rodney wrap his arms around her, to tell her it would all be okay, and that he would always love her, no matter what.

She laughed a little bitterly, thinking about the hundreds of times he'd actually done that for her, and all the times she should have done it for him, but hadn't.

"I guess it's always been you saving me, never the other way around,"she said, her voice dripping with self loathing.

She sighed, leaning forward and resting her head on his shoulder, still stroking his hair with one hand.

She closed her eyes, wishing that he would wake up and tell her it was going to be okay, but she knew he wouldn't, Dr.Kellar had him on sleeping medication.

_"I wish I had some medicine too...it would make me feel better..."_she thought, then her eyes jerked open, horror flooding her entire body.

"_NO!!...Don't you dare start thinking like that!! You know better than that, you don't want to get addicted again!!!"_she shouted at herself in her mind, whimpering audibly, burying her face into Rodney's warm shoulder, wishing he would wake up.

Her shoulders began to shake with silent sobs, tears soaking Rodney's shoulder, she'd never, in her entire life felt so alone, except for those years she'd been with _Him,_ but even then, Rodney had somehow come to her rescue.

She sobbed like a little girl, not letting a sound escape her, desperate for someone, anyone to come and tell her it would be okay.

But no one came.

Eventually, her sobs dried up, and her shaking subsided, and she stood shakily next to Rodney's bed.

Then, she climbed up into the bed with him, curling up into a ball and snuggling close up against his chest, resting her head on his shoulder.

She sighed discontentedly, feeling only slightly better now that she was next to Rodney, closing her tired eyes and fell into a deep, nightmare soaked sleep.

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January 19, 2008, 1:47am

Rodney awoke slowly, the feeling in his body coming back gradually, section by section.

Finally, he felt his whole body regain feeling, except for his left arm and shoulder, it felt like there was weight on it.

Then, it moved, and then it moved again, then a soft sound escaped it, a whimper.

Rodney forced his groggy eyes open, looking down at his chest.

A mass of reddish-brown, coppery hair was situated on his shoulder, the hair glinting silvery in the moonlight that streamed through the high windows.

Rodney was immediately alarmed,"Miranda, Miranda, _Miranda!!"_he whispered fiercely, shaking her gently.

She jerked awake, flailing around as she felt someone else in the bed,"Get off of me!!"she shrieked,"get out of my bed!!"

"_Your _bed!!"snapped Rodney indignantly,"For your information, this is _my_ bed!!"

She stopped fighting him, gasping and panting, sucking in huge gasps of oxygen,"Rodney!!"she gasped,"Oh Rodney!!"

She threw her arms around his neck, burying her face in his chest,"You're awake, you're awake!!"

"Yes, I'm awake,"said Rodney sardonically,"Now can you tell me why we're in bed together, because I'm going to be so pissed if I don't remember what happened."

She laughed a little hysterically, sitting back, wiping her eyes,"Well, I just...I felt really bad about getting you hurt..."she said nervously.

"Oh, so you made up for it by sleeping with me, when you thought I wouldn't remember?"asked Rodney sarcastically, crossing his arms.

"No!!"she said angrily, smacking him on the arm,"That's disgusting!!"

Rodney snorted,"Right, so why else were you in my bed, I know it's hard to resist me, but still,"he said, teasing her subtly.

"Yuck!!"she practically shouted,"That's disgusting, _Meredith!!"_

Rodney's face went from amused to horrified in an instant,"That's not fair,"he whined,"At least you don't have a horrible name!! And keep your voice down, or else Dr.Kellar will come and kick you out."

She blinked, a slow, dopey smile forming on her lips, her eyes twinkling.

"What?"asked Rodney, annoyed, his arms still crossed.

"You don't want her to throw me out..."she said, grinning even more widely.

"What? No...that's not it at all..."denied Rodney, looking everywhere except at her.

"Yeah...yeah...you like me...admit it!! You like me!! You want me to stick around!!"she cried happily, her eyes sparkling with suppressed mirth.

"Oh that is so..."began Rodney condescendingly, but then she launched herself him, cutting him off.

He collapsed back onto the pillows as she slammed into him, squeezing him until he groaned, and he tried to push her away.

"Okay...okay...you win, you can stay, but you have to stop crushing me,"said Rodney tiredly.

She grinned happily as she sat up, her hair askew in every direction, her face glowing.

Rodney sighed in annoyance, but inwardly, he was pleased that she cared about him this much.

"Hey, before I woke you up, you were whimpering in your sleep, what was that about?"Rodney asked her, leaning forward slightly.

Her face drained off happiness,"It's nothing..."she mumbled, staring at her hands rather than look at him.

The next thing she knew, Rodney had leaned forward and pulled her into his arms, holding her close.

"Listen, Kitty-Kat, I know that it's not nothing,"whispered Rodney tenderly, stroking her hair,"I know that it's bothering you, and I want you to please tell me, so that I can help you, because it hurts me to see you like this."

She simply gaped wordlessly, her eyes wide, amazed, yet again, about how much he cared for her, she swallowed,"It was just a nightmare..."she mumbled hoarsely, wrapping her arms around him numbly.

Rodney sighed heavily, then he pulled her into his lap, rested his chin on he head, stroking her hair,"Kitty-Kat...I'm so sorry, please, please tell me about it."

She sighed, resting her head on his shoulder, snuggling closer into his embrace,"It was about...you...and Anthony...it was that time...back in Ontario...remember?...Only...I was too late in calling the police, and he...he...he killed you Rodney."

Her voice broke, and she broke into massive, shuddering sobs, her whole body quaking with each harsh sob.

Rodney didn't speak, instead he just held her, rocking her gently, stroking her hair, not letting the fact that he wished he could travel back in time and murder Anthony, show through the mask.

Finally, her sobs lessened, and they finally stopped,"Done?"asked Rodney gently, pulling her away slightly to look into her eyes.

She nodded, wiping her eyes,"I feel so stupid..."she choked,"This is the most I've cried in years, and it was in one day."

Rodney chuckled slightly,"It's okay, I get it,"he said, pulling her into a tight hug.

She smiled as they separated, grinning as she looked into his eyes, loving the way the moonlight illuminated his face,"Rodney?"she asked uncertainly.

"Yeah?"he asked, smiling back at her.

"Can I stay with you tonight? I don't know where my quarters are,"she said, flushing slightly, dropping her gaze.

Rodney smiled,"Sure, and then tomorrow we can get you unpacked in your quarters,"he said gently, lying down and pulling her down as well.

She smiled hugely, settling herself comfortably in next to him, snuggling up close to him, resting her head onto his shoulder again, cuddling up to his chest.

Rodney suppressed a grin as he put his arms around her and held her close in a comforting way,"Goodnight Miranda,"he said quietly, closing his eyes.

"Goodnight Rodney,"she replied contentedly, closing her eyes and drifting almost at once into sweet, happy dreams.

She sighed once more, content, she had what she wanted, Rodney had his arms wrapped around her, and she knew he loved her.


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer:I own nothing involved with this story.

I'm really sorry it's taken so long for me to update, but I've had a lot of schoolwork, but today I got a snow day, so I'm using the extra time to write a couple of new chapters, so I hope you like this!

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July 25, 1972, 6:42am

Rodney leaned his forehead against the cool glass of the car window, sighing as the city blocks flashed by in front of his eyes.

"_Well I guess Twin Pines doesn't really have anything to do with real pine trees,"_thought Rodney darkly, his fingers drifting to his bandaged arms, scratching hopefully at the bonds, silently wishing for a chance at release.

He sighed again and collapsed back against the limo seat,"Something wrong?"asked the elderly limo driver.

"_Not unless you count the fact that my mother and father threw me out,"_thought Rodney bitterly, but aloud he said,"Nope, I'm fine."

The limo driver chuckled knowingly,"Of course, of course, but...uh, if you need to talk, we've got quite a ways to go before we reach Twin Pines,"he replied sympathetically.

Rodney snorted, turning away and staring at Jeannie, where she slept on the limo seat.

After he'd been discharged from the hospital, Rodney had returned back to the house just once, to retrieve his things, then he'd been handed a plane ticket by his bitch of a mother, who'd hugged him very stiffly and briefly and briefly told him not to screw this up like the rest, and he'd been driven to the airport, where Jeannie had announced she was coming with him.

Rodney had immediately said no, but Jeannie was adamant, and finally, Rodney had given in, and Jeannie had flown with him to Toronto, where he would be driven to Twin Pines.

The plane ride had been one of the best times Rodney had ever had in his whole life.

He and Jeannie had used the last of their time together to party like there was no tomorrow, they'd taken hundreds of pictures together, making faces for the camera.

They'd sang songs as loud as they could, made faces at the flight attendant when her back was turned, they'd snuck over to the empty seats and rang the bell, and quickly raced back to their seats as the flight attendant had stood scratching her head, wondering what was going on, and who kept ringing for her.

They'd stolen sixteen packets of pretzels from the food cart when the flight attendant wasn't looking, and had a food fight.

The best stunt they'd pulled was when they'd snuck out of first class and into coach, they'd strutted up and down the aisles, acting like they were the Beatles, she was Ringo and he was John Lennon, talking in accents, and flipping their hair, playing air guitar, bobbing their heads as they sang 'Hey Jude', and generally trying to piss Susan, the flight attendant, off.

It was as if what had happened back home had never even occurred, they were just a brother and sister flying to Toronto.

When they'd finally landed, they'd been sought out by an older gentleman who'd been waiting to take Rodney to Twin Pines.

Now, as the streets of Toronto flashed by the windows, Rodney felt the knots in his stomach growing tighter with each passing block, the desire for sharp, painless relief from a blade, had been growing in his chest since he'd first woken up in the hospital bed.

Rodney sighed once more, reaching forward and gently stroking Jeannie's curly strawberry-blond hair and wishing he hadn't put her through this.

"_Why is it everything I do, I manage to hurt someone I love..."_he thought bitterly, glaring at the stark white bandages that wound around his arm like a noose, strangling him.

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July 24, 1972, 6:59am

"Rodney, Rodney, wake up, Rodney!!"

Rodney jerked awake, glancing around wildly, pushing himself into a sitting position.

"What's going on?"he asked blearily, rubbing his eyes, looking into Jeannie's worried looking face,"What's wrong?"

"We're here,"said Jeannie anxiously, tears shining in her eyes,"Oh Rodney...oh Rodney..."

"What?"asked Rodney, scooting towards the door, grabbing his dark blue bag as he exited the limo.

He gasped as he saw Twin Pines Children's Psychiatric Treatment and Rehabilitation Facility for the first time.

Everywhere, gray, concrete walls loomed three stories above him, black, cold iron bars glinted menacingly at him from every window, welcoming him to their hell.

Rodney gaped in horror as he stared at the twelve foot high chain link fences, topped by four lengths of razor wire and reinforced with a second layer of chain link, encasing the huge, desolate building and a yard.

The yard was paved with cracking, broken concrete, weeds peaking through, a single, lone, battered basketball hoop stood alone in the center of the yard, seeming to say, 'Survival isn't the worst thing that could happen to you here'.

Then, without warning, a harsh bell resounded across the barren hell, and thirty or so children, ranging from the age of four to seventeen crashed into the yard, and chaos ensued.

Screams and shouts of fury and terror cascaded over them, drowning them in sound.

Rodney watched in horror as a boy of about sixteen chased after a kid of about nine, he caught him after they both crashed into the fence.

"You think you could get away!!"shouted the older one, grabbing the boy by his shirt, slamming his head into the fence over and over, before dragging him away, punching him again and again.

Rodney couldn't believe the revolting terribleness of the whole thing, as the older boy dragged the littler one over to a group of other boys, who threw him into the center of the ring and began to launch kicks at him.

The boy's screams of agony ripped through Rodney's dazed dreamlike state,"Leave him alone!!"shouted Jeannie furiously, racing up to the fence and clanging it angrily.

The group glanced up and began to shout swear words and profanities at her, calling her the most unimaginable names.

"Leave her alone!!"shouted Rodney, stepping forward and pushing Jeannie behind him.

"Oh, you wanna mess wit' me white boy!?!?"shouted a young black, kid stepping forward and baring his disgusting teeth at Rodney.

Before Rodney could respond, almost all of the kids in the yard charged the fence, slamming into it, shrieking, screaming, and shouting at everything and anything.

Jeannie gasped behind Rodney's back, clutching at his shirt, and whimpering.

Rodney glared at them, preparing to protect Jeannie at all costs when suddenly, a siren screeched over the yard, grating at Rodney's eardrums.

The effect the siren had on the children was instantaneous, they leaped away from the fence as if burned, most of them putting both hands behind their heads, dropping to their knees, and laying down on the ground.

But a few of them didn't, they instead turned and raced towards the steel doors, screaming hysterically, their eyes rolling back in their heads, fists raised.

Without warning, twenty or so people flooded into the yard, fully clad in riot gear, sporting shields and batons, moving into a formation, words glinting on the front of their armor, it read, 'Behavioral Squad.'

Jeannie screamed as the kids kept racing forward, toward the guards, and the guards raised their batons.

She turned away as they collided, but it didn't block out the sounds of the crunching of batons on skulls, nor the dull thud of batons on flesh, or the screams of the boys as they were bludgeoned mercilessly.

Jeannie looked away, but Rodney couldn't tear his eyes away from the carnage, the blood flowing like rivers, the splatter as it hit the shields of the cruel guards, the way it dripped off the batons as the guards raised them for another swing.

Finally, the screams faded, and the sounds of the batons colliding with skulls and flesh was gone, and the only sounds that was heard was the swish of the doors swinging open, and the slow gurgling of blood as it gushed in torrents out of the boys heads, and the whimpers of the kids.

Rodney gaped at the carnage he saw, blood everywhere, and those guys, the guards, they were just standing there, swinging there batons, chatting and laughing, as the boys were almost bleeding to death at their feet.

"Rodney...oh..._Rodney..._"gasped Jeannie, peeking over his shoulder at the carnage, gasping and beginning to sob into his shoulder.

Rodney glared at the guards, as he pulled Jeannie into his arms, shushing her, stroking her hair, trying to assure her that it would be okay, but knowing it wouldn't.

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July 24, 1972, 7:09am

Dr. Auralee Hope-Drangis was not having a good day.

First, her assistant, Tate had screwed up her coffee, and the daily medication regiment, so the inmate children were all out of whack.

She'd received a call from the Ontario police about a possible inspection and investigation, and then she'd received word about a new arrival coming in today, a cutter, one of the worst of the worst.

And on top of it all, those stupid assholes of a riot squad called the 'Behavioral Squad,' had gone postal, _again_, and had burst out in full riot gear for a little spat of an argument a couple of the boys were having.

She sighed again as she neared the swinging door that led into the yard.

She mentally braced herself as she pushed the door open and walked slowly into the yard, towards the mess of blood and limbs that had been boys a few moments earlier.

She stared at the pathetic sight for a moment before glancing up, towards the fence, and saw a couple of kids, and old guy and a limo.

"_Hmmm...that must be the new arrival,"_she thought grimly, setting her jaw firmly before walking over towards them.

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July 24, 1972, 7:09am

Rodney watched the woman as she stepped over and around the kids who lay obediently on the ground.

"Well, I guess you boys are going into solitary,"she said, looking at the bloody mess of limbs, skulls, and hair that lay just inches away from her Prada shoes.

The boys whimpered, cowering away from her, attempting to shield their broken heads from further abuse.

The woman watched the pitiful display of terror with a strange expression on her face, like she was looking at a dying cobra, like she was glad it was dead, and it amused her to watch it die, but she didn't want to let anyone know she was enjoying watching it die.

Instantly, and inexplicably, Rodney hated that woman, he hated with every fiber of his being, almost more than anything else in the world. Almost as if she could feel the hatred radiating off of him, the woman glanced up, and saw Rodney and Jeannie.

She went grim faced, then she approached them, her manner was all business.

"You must be the new arrival,"she said as she reached them, reaching to her belt for a bunch of keys on a ring.

She unlocked the gate, and stepped through, carefully avoiding the razor wire.

She extended her hand, smiling a falsely cheery smile,"My name is Dr.Hope-Drangis, but you can call me Dr.Drangis. I'm very pleased to welcome you to Twin Pines."she said, in a sugary, sickeningly sweet voice.

Rodney glared at her, his upper lip curling, Jeannie, on the other hand, came out from behind him, and shook the woman's hand.

"Hi, my name's Jeannie, nice to meet you, this is my brother Rodney. he's supposed to come here, but I don't think this is where he's supposed to be, so..."she said, all in one breath, chewing her lip.

"Jeannie, it's understandable that you wouldn't want your brother here, especially after what you've just seen, but I assure you that this is a credible institute, despite what you've seen, I promise we'll take good care of Rodney,"replied Dr.Drangis, smiling her fake smile even wider, her voice becoming even more sickly sweet.

Jeannie gave a tentative smile, believing the lie, she nodded slowly,"Okay, but are you sure that won't happen to Rodney?"she asked.

"Absolutely, I give you my word, this kind of thing has never happened before, and we will take good care of Rodney."she said, her voice still as sickly sweet as ever.

"Okay then,"said Jeannie, turning to smile widely at Rodney,"I'm glad. You'll be safe here Rodney."

Rodney looked sadly at his innocent little sister, he forced a small, sad smile,"Yeah, okay, sure Jeannie,"he said, falsely cheery,"Yeah, I'm sure it'll be great."

"That's the spirit Rodney,"said Dr.Drangis, clapping him on the shoulder,"Now how about we go inside? Let's get you all settled in before dinner, it's pork chop night."

Rodney nodded, then looked at Jeannie,"Hey, well I guess this is goodbye, I'll miss you,"he said, forcing a smile,"I love you Jeannie."

Jeannie's eyes filled with tears, and she smiled sadly at him,"I love you too Rodney, I'll miss you too."

He nodded slowly, then pulled her into a tight hug, whispering int her ear,"Jeannie, I want you to promise me...stay strong, no matter what, and if...if _he_ comes _near_ you, you'll tell someone, no matter what. Don't let him do what he did to me to you."

"I promise,"she whispered back,"and Rodney? I'm so sorry, I should've stopped him, it's all my fault."

"No,"whispered Rodney,"It's not your fault."

He pulled away from her, gave her a watery smile, and turned away, and walked through the front gates, heading straight into the hell of Twin Pines.

"Hey Rodney,"called Jeannie,"Don't worry, until the end, I'll be here for you, no matter what, you'll always be my best friend!"

Rodney smiled his first real smile in ages, and nodded to her, waving back at her, then he turned and plunged straight through the swinging doors, directly into Twin Pines Children's Psychiatric Treatment and Rehabilitation Facility.


End file.
